Fifteen years ago on Valentine’s day, I took the train all the way to my boyfriend’s house, expecting to have a beautiful, romantic night together (after missing him so much) only to get dumped by him – in public – the second I stepped off the train.
We had just gotten back together for three days [because I begged him desperately for a relationship (after I left in the first place because he cheated on me with my “friend”)].
Before that irreparable breech of trust, I mostly felt alone, sad, and unhappy anyway. He didn’t spend enough time with me and often had something better to do – even if I wasn’t in agreement or didn’t feel safe and secure about the things he got into. I wasn’t a priority, the way I felt wasn’t a priority, and I constantly felt lonely, abandoned, neglected, and heartbroken.
So why did I stay around? And, why did I beg him back after I got cheated on?
To name a few reasons, I had zero personal power, low self-worth, low self-respect, didn’t know how to date discerningly in the first place, and couldn’t to stand for my wants and needs. And, of course, I didn’t believe that I was worthy of anything more than the pain and sadness I had known with so many men (before and after this Valentine’s Day).
When we lack crucial personal, dating, and relationship skills, we’re bound to keep attracting the wrong partner and painful relationships.
Eventually, we’ll either settle and stay stuck with the wrong guy or get jaded and give up, which are all fear-based choices.
Don’t go down those roads. And, if you’re already on those roads, it’s not too late to turn around and LEARN how to get love right, It’s not too late to have what you REALLY want. (You obviously really want it if you’re anywhere near me.)
How did I go from decades of horrific experiences with men – many even worse than the one mentioned above – to having the extraordinary man and relationship I have today where I do get my wants and needs met?
Everything shifted when I started truly loving and honoring myself by learning how to date discerningly, which required taking clear action, making clear choices, and taking a firm stand for what I truly want and need from a partner to feel good, happy, safe, important, and loved. It’s in the DOING – not just the knowing – that we truly change our lives and create the new loving experiences we deeply want.
Committing to learning these skills is the best personal development program you could ever put yourself through because it requires you to become the strongest, most powerful, and most resilient version of yourself. That will break any negative dating and relationship pattern and empower you to attract extraordinary love with the right extraordinary man for you.
HOW’S MY V-DAY IN 2018?! IT’S WONDERFUL mainly because I’m truly grateful to have such a good man to love and be loved by!
While we’re celebrating V-day a little later (because we love having the world to ourselves), I also made it clear that I still wanted a little something on Valentine’s Day.
This morning I woke up, went into my office, and found this beautiful little Money Tree surprise on my desk!
I told him a while back that I find roses cliche, especially on Valentine’s Day, and I was thrilled that HE REMEMBERED TO DO SOMETHING AND DIDN’T GET ME ROSES!
I whipped a feast together for him of his favorites foods from three of our neighborhood eateries, and he got to enjoy them as soon as he got home from work. I put his buffet on an old school cafeteria tray to give it a unique nostalgic touch!
(We should’ve taken a selfie! Whoops!)
Happy Valentine’s, Beauties! ️
Know that I’m thinking of you and you’re in my heart today!!! ️